Monday, October 27, 2008

Sometimes I feel like a bad mom...

I've been asked on several occasions when I'm going to "pop" out another kid. In so many words, it isn't that I don't want more kids (even though I constantly joke about only being a good mom to one...we all know our limits, right?), I just feel that I'm neglecting Ellie by going to school, and then I am going to teach the next year...if I add another kid on top of that I feel that we will be in therapy by the time she is 16.

or now?

Ellie has an imaginary friend, Teeny Tiny Baby. I'm really not a huge fan of the little one. She constantly complains, she never sits in her carseat, she has been known to jump into Ellie's mouth on occasion, and I have sat on her before. In my defense, it is hard when they are little, and don't exist!!

Even though my teacher (okay, actually professor) told me that imaginary friends are a sign of creativity and intelligence (I told you she was a genius), Teeny Tiny Baby didn't really appear until I started getting busier with school. What breaks my heart more is when Ellie is doing her "homework", and she tells Teeny Tiny Baby to leave her alone, because she is busy (Do I really say that?).

I start field next week, and even though I am excited to get going on it, I'm also nervous. I've never left Ellie with anyone, but family (and Meagan's cute sister Maddie for an hour on Wednesdays). I know she'll be in good hands, I am just realizing what a change this is going to be for us. I'm looking forward to her social interactions with other kids, but I will miss our daily interactions (she is at her best when she first wakes up in the morning). Who knew that I would like being a stay at home mom, even though I really don't like little kids that much? I guess it is different when you have your own...

Anyway, I didn't mean to turn it into a blubbering post...I hate school.

I do love this though...



and this...

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow...what an amazing mom you are!! I have learned alot about you in reading your posts...I always knew you would be with just how you are. Good luck with school...call if you need anything!!

carrie said...

Your not a bad Mom at all Katy, you are just being hard on yourself. We really do need to get together again, I leaned how to make a really cute skirt and it is so easy, and no I still haven't finished my sling! I have actually considered taking it apart and using the material to make one of the those cute skirts, I really don't know if I can learn how to sew on a curve, I never realized I was so retarded!

Meagan said...

Aw, see... there is a domestic/motherly woman in you. You just never knew it! HA HA HA.

Those pictures of Ellie are sooooo funny.

Trent and Carlie & Co. said...

Ellie makes me laugh! Teeny tiny baby has a little attitude! You are an awesome mom! You are so good with her and you were so good with my two little ones when they were teeny tiny babies. :) I think it is great that you are thinking ahead rather than jumping into something others think you should do.

What grade will you be teaching this year? Most of my stuff is packed away but I can totally help you with 4th grade science - it's my favorite!

The Gulls said...

so when you mean good hands are you leaving her with rachel? That will be so good. she is so cute and good with her kids. Me and corbin go hang out with her almost every thursday. good luck with your school stuff

Katy said...

Carlie, I am teaching first grade!! Can you believe it? I swear, they still don't know how to blow their noses yet...I don't know what I'll do!!

Wilkinson Family said...

No way I didn't know you were going to teach first (did I)! Girl I have TONS of secrets, three years worth ya know! So as well as being the "good hands" (which I hope I will live up to) I can let you in on all the little tricks of the trade!
Just let me know when you and Ellie want to stop by...Hopefully she will like being in a house full of boys...

Ash said...

You're not bad! I've felt like a jerk lately for having another kid! You've just gotta do what's right for your family! You're a hilarious person and I'm sure a good mom. I love those pics of Ellie by the way!!

Jessica said...

I feel your pain. I really noticed I must be bad when my baby's first words were "stop it".
I guess the first step is admitting we have a problem.

Susan said...

You're not a bad mom, you're just a mom. Some days you're on, some days your off. Just goes with the territory. Welcome to the club!

Ashley Harward said...

Oh, I can totally sympathize. I swear I never stop feeling guilty. But I can tell from your blog that you are a wonderful mom. So don't worry.
So, even though we went to the same ward and were in the same grade I don't think I talked to you once. (Sorry about that :) ) But I've been reading your blog and you are so fun to read. I think you're hilarious. And you introduced me to NieNie. My mom and I talk about her almost every day.
Anyway, just wanted to let you know I've been blog stalking you. If you want to get me back you can check out my blog. www.theharwardworld.blogspot.com

Danielle said...

Hey you, so when are you having another baby? haha totally kidding! You are awesome, it is hard to do school and kids but you are doing it great and guess what you are almost done with the school part so kudos to you!!! All you can do is what is right for you guys, and that is the best thing. Or you can lie about it like me and tell people that you can't make babies anymore. He he Love ya, see you soon!