I'm a Survivor

*Situation was re-enacted for your reading/viewing pleasure.*

You bet I'm talking about me!! Everyone has a tough situation to overcome, mine came Sunday night. It went down like this...

The family was all snug in their beds. Ellie had been asleep for hours, and Dan was reading the Ensign (People magazine was waiting on my side of the bed). I was chatting with Dan about some of the day's events, for example we like to talk about how cute Ellie is (yes, we are just that obsessed with our kid).

While chatting with Dan, I started fiddling with the master bathroom doorknob. Dan told me that it wasn't working as well as it normally does. I figured that it was locking when it was supposed to be unlocked and unlocking when it was supposed to be locked. Then I fixed it, because I'm a genius like that.

Dan and I wrapped up our conversation, and I headed into the bathroom to take a bath (don't criticize, yes, I do stew in my own filth). I shut the door behind me. I then realized I forgot a towel. I went to open the door, it was locked. Now mind you, I am inside the bathroom which gives me control over the lock. I fiddled with it some more, and when it wouldn't budge I politely knocked on the door to ask Dan for some help.

What did Dan do? He laughed hysterically. I then asked him to get me a screwdriver so I could take off the doorknob. He took so long that I started using scissors instead (there are SO many wonderful things to pick a lock with in a bathroom). Finally I heard Dan go downstairs.

He came back to the door, and pushed a granola bar underneath it (isn't he funny?). He said he didn't know how long I would be in there, and he didn't want me to get hungry. It was funny at first, but 30 minutes later I started getting worried, and it may or may not have escalated toward anger (my story, I'll tell it how I want).

I started panicking...I really didn't want to have to call the fire department to have them bust down the door to find me standing in my underwear...what a sight!! No matter how long I worked on my end (because Dan was STILL thinking he was SO funny), I couldn't get the door unlocked. We tried scissors, a credit card, keys, and it wouldn't budge.

Finally, I got the doorknob off. Problem solved, right? The tongue of the door was still stuck, and I couldn't get it to move. Basically I could see Dan's eye and he could see mine. There were a couple of attempts to get the door opened that could have resulted in making one or both of us a cyclop.

An hour later, I bent the inside metal of the tongue, and when that became stuck I totally thought I was hosed, but after fiddling with the door some more it finally came out!!

Could you imagine what I would have done if that happened to me in the morning before I had to go to school? What would I have told my teacher? "Sorry, I'm locked in the bathroom and can't get out!!"

Dan wanted to take pictures during the whole ordeal, because it was just that funny (so he says), but I told him to wait for me to get out first (that, and I didn't need any pictures of me in my undies being posted on the web).

So there you have it...I'm a survivor. I lived off of a granola bar, and made useful tools out of bathroom instruments. I should have my own show. Oh, and our door is still doorknobless. Which is why Ellie was able to get this adorable photo op.